Week 5 - ELF

Hola amigos! okay im already done writing in spanish. maybe next week. I need some white in my life. a lot of beans this week. A LOT!

So this week i experienced some things that caused me to sympathize with Buddy the ELF and when he went to New York. Twas a week of reminders, some subtle and some unsettling, that i am not in the north pole anymore.

1. My first experience has happened gradually over the course of the last couple weeks. I have come to realize that people dont wear sports gear to support a team they like. They wear the clothes that they have and dont care or even know whats written on them because it is all they have. So when i have said "Oh i love your shirt. Do you like the bulls?" and they reply "Who is bill" (all in spanish of course) i realize that i am an idiot. 

2. Do you ever wonder where all the merchandise goes from the teams that lose in a championship in the United States? Well some goes to nicaragua haha. The other day i saw a guy wearing a spurs 2013 champions shirt. I dont know what is real life anymore. 

3. I saw a man throw a cat 20 feet. that is all.

4. "The yellow ones dont stop" is elfish wisdom that i have come to live my life by. Taxis here do not stop. If you are in the street you will be run over. On the main road in esteli there are probly 50 dead dogs on the side of the road. 

5. This past sunday, while we were inviting people to church at about 730 in the morning, a man tried to break in to a nearby house. The entire neighborhood came out to kill this guy. A group of about 30 people (some were kids, some were naked, and some were naked kids)  chased this guy for like 3 blocks.

Like Buddy, i have come to realize that i am a long way from home. My candy cane forest is a dirty jungly Nicaragua that unfortantely doesnt have gum stuck everywhere that i can eat. Buddy learned to love his new home as have I. Buddy says "the best way to spread christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear." Though i am not literally caroling down here in Nicaragua in the middle of july, i am working hard to help families hear Jesus' jingle and to realize how great life can be when God is a part of it.

Buddy got lost in New York. I am getting lost in nicaragua. I have learned that getting lost is a good thing, its how we grow and learn to trust in god. There is a scripture in Matthew that i read this week that really impressed me.  

39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. 

Im having a great time and love all of you guys. TAKE IT SLEEZY!!!!

Week 4 - Views from the Li (Esteli)

Lets be real, I know you all have been anxiously awaiting news from tootsie shop. Luckily for me, but unlucky for your entertainment, my bowels are fine haha. I think i am finally becoming a nica.



i had the wonderful opportunity of watching and playing with some of the members this week. was it really basketball? i dont know. Did i laugh the whole time? almost. When we picked teams for bball, was the white boy picked first? yes. When we picked teams for futbol afterwards, was the white boy picked first? no haha. Soccer is becoming more enjoyable as i realize that it will be the only sport that i have for two years.

Happy Birthday bryce!!!!! the big ocho. Tell bishop to lighten up in those interviews and if you get stuck on a question just tell him that duke basketball is gods team, thats why jabari went there haha.



this week has been one of firsts. got my first nicaraguan haircut today which was the best i have ever had. They use a real razor for your head and face. it was awesome. I cut down an entire tree by myself. And with a machete. Are you proud of me dad? i went to my first birthday party for a guy who was turning 48. you would have thought it was for a 6 year old girl with all the balloons, hello kitty table cloth, and pink and white cake haha. Also i had my first nacatamale. It is basically a spicy hot pocket that is supposed to give you diahrrea. My bowels deflected the fiery darts of that mystery hot pocket.

LIfe in nica has been good this week. i am having a great time. wow what a statement. The change that has taken place in me has been one of perspective. A perspective that causes me to be increasingly grateful for all that i have in life. For all of my loving friends and family and for the very comfortable life that i have lived. This greater perspective has humbled me and brought me low, as the dirt in which i know live.

I havent changed too much tho, dont worry. I still love poop jokes. no suprise there. i still think about the sleezy dodgeball championship as being one of the best days of my life. And i still think about how the first thing im gonna do in 21 and a half months is kiss my mother and get an in n out hamburger. I am still dylbag and always will be.

But guess what? i love the dirt now. I love the sweat, and the exhaustion, and the frustration and the work. Most of all, i love the people. and i love helping them become better and happier. As i have grown to love them, i have developed a greater love and appreciation for those i left back home.

Love you all. Take it sleezy for me this week.

WEEK 3 - RASHLESS

Hello earth. It is currently pouring here in esteli. Also i am rashless. Unfortunately, even if i did get a rash (which i am very capable of doing because lets face it babies get rashes all the time by just pooping and peeing on themselves and im not saying that i would defacate on myself to go in the ocea.... actually yes i would.) even if i did get a rash, i am currently in the middle of the jungle and the only body of water that comes to mind is the puddle that i can see through the window of the internet cafe in which i sit that is filled with trash and horse poop and is currently being urinated upon by a little nica boy.

From an intestinal perspective, this last week was a tich better. I got pretty sick again on wednesday and once again both doors were in service. I slept for 20 striaght hours on thursday after going back and forth to the bathroom all night on wednesday. I had 5 very weird dreams during that 20 hours haha. Bob saget even made an appearance in one of them haha. I dont know why, but since i was set apart i have been able to remember my dreams very vividly every single night. By friday i was pretty much back to normal.

Question of the week, whoever gets it right will get a prize: How much does a regular box of lucky charms cost in nicaragua?

We are baptizing 2 ladies on saturday which will be cool. One is a 15 year old girl who has made it very apparent that she wants to have a white baby. I have found that a hard cover book of mormon doubles as both the keystone of our religion and also as a athletic cup to combat 15 year old females.



Anyways i am doing well and am having a good time. Despite the sickness and the difficulty with understanding all the mexican being spoken down here, i am having fun and constantly am reminded by a little book mark that i can do hard things. I was reading in 3 nephi this week and came across some scriptures that really had an impact on me. I have been stressed and still am a stressed with a little homesickness, exhaustion, and thoughts about my future. However, i forgot that jesus is the man. In third nephi he says

30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, even so will he clothe you, if ye are not of little faith.
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient is the day unto the evil thereof.


God knows what we need and when we need it. I have found that it is important to keep the future in mind and to let it motivate us but also, more importantly, to not allow the future to bring stress into our lives and distract us from the important things currently happening in life. All god asks us to do work hard and seek first the kindom of god. By doing that, all other things fall into place. Love all you guys. See you next week. Take it sleezy.

Week 2 - Nicaragua has been "super twanis" (twaaaneeeesss)

Week two in Nicaragua has been great. I am no longer sick and am becoming more and more used to my new life.



These first couple of weeks out here in the jungle have reminded me of scout camp, or high adventure or any camping trip for that matter. Im sure all of you can relate to this idea or maybe not haha. I had little spell last week where both of my sphincters turned into hallways and really got aquianted with nicaraguan plumming, which is exactly what you think it is. Anyways, last monday night i had returned basically to normal and thought my bowels had come back inside me. The rest of the week was great. I felt good and had no problems with the potty. But on saturday i realized that something was a little fishy. My bowels had been a little too good. I realized that i had not used the bathroom since monday and I figured i should probably go to the bathroom. As i was sitting on the toilet i realized that my life had turned into one giant camping trip. It was like i was at scout camp and just didnt need to poop for 4 or five days. When that 5 day rolls around and you let fly, the toilet has no chance. I know uncle scott, aunt shannon, and that 7 11 gas station bathroom can relate to this haha. I have decided that saturdays shall be my poop days.


Contrary to popular belief, Nicaragua is home to very few black people. I have only spotted 2 myself. And lets be honest, are they really black people if they speak mexican and cant play ball? I think not.




I have been enjoying myself so far. I was a little homesick the first couple of days but i know you are all doing great things at home and will be right where i left ya in 22 months. I thank god every day for all of your love and support.

Life here is very different than back in temecula. Everyone here has nothing, but gives everything. People are very kind and very willing to impart of the little substance that they have. Their humility makes them more receptive to the gospel. It is very difficult for me to see people live the way they do. I have already developed a great love for them.

Bryce. There are many wild cows, horses, chickens, dogs, cats, and people here. The other day, I saw someone throw a baby cat 5 feet out of her house. People here throw all of there crap into the street. Occassionally a good samaratin will push it all into a big pile, pour gasoline on it ,and burn everyting. Thanks garbage man!


That story about the lewis family is crazy. Mackenzie will be in my prayers. I cant even begin to relate to how they are feeling but something i am learning more and more everyday out here in the field is that everything happens for a reason. I know that god will bless their family because of this trial. And i was reading the email that you sent me mom i couldnt help but correct the word "Carotid artery" in my head. haha Thank you anatomy. And mother, if something like that happened to you, dad, collin, maddy, kate, or bryce i dont know if i would tell me...because i dont know if i could be as strong as morgan.

i hope that everyone had a super twanis fourth of july. Twanis is slang in nicaragua for cool/sick/awesome. i included a picture of what i did on 4 of july haha. my companion and i built a fence for one of the members. I also included a pic of my friend bonesy, the dog carcas that we found in the river the other day. Also, i have watched many of the world cup games. Not out of disobedience but sheerly because if we show up to an appointment and there is a game on, the lesson cant start until the game is over haha. I cheer for the white people. go netherlands

Anyways this week i learned the importance of being patient. Not everything comes when we want it or as easy as we want it. LIfe is hard sometimes. All we can do is work hard and trust in god. I love you all.