Week 3 - I am an Idiot

WEEK #3 - I am an Idiot

As my time here in the CCM goes on, i realize more and more how much of an idiot i am. On monday i woke up and my face was all dried up. So, like any normal person would do, i put lotion on. At the end of the day my face was red and irritated and i figured/convinced myself that i must have gotten sunburned while i was playing basketball in a gym that had a very well functioning roof on it. The next morning i woke up to the same irritation and dryness so i put more lotion on. The following morning, same story. However, i realized that morning that my lotion smelled like unicorn farts and rainbows. I simply chalked it up to my great taste in exotic lotions and that i had at some point come out of the closet before my mission and decided to pack some lotion from the gay aisle at bath and body works. **Refer to the title of this email**. Night came lotion. Morning came lotion. It wasnt until the third night that i realized that i had switched my lotion bottle with my shampoo bottle. My face was irritated, red and really just completely burned. Ive had a real gnarly rash for about 4 days. Can you bring me my chapstick mom? My face hurts real bad. And the nurse does not have like four sticks in the drawer.

I have been good the last week. My stomach has finally become acquainted to a healthy beans and fruit loops diet. I received your package mom. Thank you!! The mexican cookies were great and i shared them with all of my companions and teachers.

This week my companions and i were discussing the 199 section of the doctrine and covenants. verse 4 states, "And it came to pass that a curse will be sent among the children men that after every lunch, the destroying angel of naptime shall come upon them and cause them to be tormented for till at least 3. And wo be unto those that shall give in to the destroying angel of the nap, lest it shall feel so good but their whole day will be ruined and they will fall into a pit of darkness. But if they shall not give into the nap they will actually learn something after lunch. Amen." D&C 199 verse 4.

This week i realized why dad has an ulcer whenever mom or bryce makes a mess or whenever the garage is not spotless. This week i walked in from the shower and found my companion clipping his toenails on my bed. Nice.

I also have found that most missionaries come into the MTC thinking they already know enough spanish to get by. They are like Grandma every time superbowl sunday roles around. Every year on the day of the superbowl, grandma thinks she can speak japanese after watching all the commercials.. "Mitsubishi, Toyota, Kawasaki, Sony, Honda, Ping Pong." No elder, taco, burrito, and chimity changa will not help you here. I even i had to realize that cheese crisps arent actually a real thing.

btw grandma, yo necisito mas "puedo hacer cosas durras" book marks

Thanks for your update on basketball dad. It ruined my day. I have decided that im not coming home until kobe gets another ring so you better start praying for los angeles and not me. Also thanks for the story about the navy seal. (Commencement speech at Univ of Texas this year) The only bell i have ever touched was the liberty bell in phili and im pretty sure thats a felony. I promise that i wont be ring any bells or tap out any time soon. Its great to here that the gospel and mexicans have made brad retarded cuz i can feel it comin on a little bit too.

Also suzie thank you for you video hahaha. I will try not to get a "tubor" like max here in mexico. Tessa nice work on getting baptized your dress was "So Fluffy!!"- little girl from despicable me quote

This week was actually a busy one. Our senor branch and zone leaders left on wednesday which sucked cuz i had become close to many of them but i was happy to see them get going on their missions. I was called as zone leader and will meet the new branches in our zone on thursday. Our district was called as ushers for all the major meetings in the CCM. And ive ran 2 and a half miles and managed to play basketball every day.

This past week was fast and testimony sunday. Grandma you would not believe how long slow sundays are here. They make you fast for 24 hours and there arent grandma tacos waiting for you when you get home from church haha. On a more serious note though, it was an awesome experience and President pratt sat it on our meeting. We added up to about 18 people and everyone got a chance to go up and speak. i bore my testimony in 100 percent spanish which was pretty sick.

Grandma and Grandpa i am slowly starting to learn the importance of HOP especially the obedience part. I have almost completely read the entire book of mormon in the couple of weeks that ive been here and my new favorite scripture comes from alma chapter 57 verses 20 and 21. "20 And as the remainder of our army were about to give way before the Lamanites, behold, those two thousand and sixty were firm and undaunted.
21 Yea, and they did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness; yea, and even according to their faith it was done unto them; and I did remember the words which they said unto me that their mothers had taught them. "

I love all of you and hope you are doing well. I thank god every day for your constant love and support.

Take it Sleezy and I'm out!