Sunday, August 31, 2014

Last Friday Night (katy perry voice)

Hola friends and family! Hope all enjoyed your summers and are excited to start school again. Elder Jake is especially stoked that he will not have to go back to school for a very long time! 

Nothing new in esteli. I ate some chinese food the other day and i think it was good. I havent had panda express or mr yous in 6 months so i dont really know. I also met this guy that works for the professional baseball league in nicaragua and he is going to hook me up with an authentic jersey from the best team in managua with a big 25 on the back. Stay tuned for that. No puke this week fortunately. I did have an oh crap moment however when the bishop of our ward asked me to give a 15 minute talk on "Honradez" a few hours before church started. I said sure president ill give the talk but thought to myself, What the heck is honradez?

I dont know what you guys did last friday but i bet mine was better. Elder sotay and i were walking along in downtown esteli on friday and i saw a little family with a dad carrying a cooking stove/ bbq thing on his back. I had the impression that i should help them so i went over and asked if i could carry the bbq to the house. At first he said no but i was persistant and eventually just took the bbq off his back and put it on mine. As soon as i threw this bbq on my shoulders i realized that i may have made a mistake. This thing was so freakin heavy! We walked and talked with this family and thought that they lived somewhere in downtown. We were very wrong. We walked with this family for almost an hour and i carried that bbq thing for at least 2 or three miles. My pups were barkin. We soon found ourselves, literally, in the middle of the jungle up in the mountian above esteli. By the time we arrived it was dark and there was only one little light in the little mud/tin hut that this family lived in. We sat outside the house on buckets and stumps and the dad made a little fire. My companion and i shared a little message with them and they accepted our invitation to go church on sunday. The mom even made us dinner! Corn on the Cob baby. As I sat under the stars in the middle of the jungle and ate my corn, i had a very strong desire to ask if the corn was "hand shucked" as it was especially delicious. But, i quickly remembered that this lady probly didnt know who bob was and that i had just seen her shuck it with her hands 5 seconds ago. We left the house a spent the next 20 minutes trying to find our way out of the jungle.

Now this story has no cool hidden spiritual message but i think that my friday night was a little different and a sleezier than yours :)

I love you all. Remember to stay in the tube.   Elder Jake

Bryce looked up honradez for all of you.  It means honesty.

Saturday, August 23, 2014


What is up everybody? Elder DJ had another solid tube sesh this week. Hope you guys are all shreddin Dr. Rick Marshal style. Also, i got bit by a dog this week. Have you ever seen Sam Kramer kick a football? I kicked that dog so hard and i know sam would be proud of me.

Today I ran into a bunch of white people at the supermarket as i was buying my groceries for the week. (And for all the kids at home complaining about the green stuff in their noodles, i basically get 20 bucks for food and travel for the whole week. I would kill for some green stuff in some noodles haha.) Anyways, these white people (about 20) were totally out of their element and they all looked really pretty scared. When i saw them i immediately thought of the nutty British guy from discovery channel that we all know that goes into the wild to whisper over film captured with night vision goggles "Now right now we are observing a male endangered African blue berry muffin monkey as he attempts to seduce a female blue berry muffin monkey with his delicious baked goods" Basically, i "observed" these people were clearly out of their comfort zone. I later found out that they were all from Great Britain. Magical right?

I later talked to one of the guys that was there. He told me he was on a service trip through a British humanitarian aid company and was currently building houses and other things for people in the area. I told him that i was serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ and explained a little about what i was doing. He told me that he had been in Nicaragua for 8 long hard weeks and that he had 2 more long weeks. He also told me he was very impressed with my Spanish after i had a conversation with the check out lady about the amount of crazy white people that were in the supermarket that day. This British dude had no idea what we were talking about haha. Finally he asked how long i had been here. I said 8 weeks like you and ill be here for another 2 short years! The look on his face was priceless.

I am teaching a very, very poor family right now. Dad doesn't have a job and attempts to provide for his two daughters, who are ten and eleven, wife, mother, and one year old twin boys. There is no electricity or water in their little shack in down town Rosario. There is rarely food on the table and no milk for the little boys. Their situation is not uncommon and they live like most other families here in Nicaragua. Over the last couple weeks, however, i have developed a great love for this family, especially for the 10 year old daughter who reminds me of Kate every time i go over to their house.

One night after i returned home from a visit with this family, i was depressed. I looked at the 40 bucks in my wallet and thought to myself "Who needs this more?" As missionaries, we are told not to give money or things to people we meet in the mission. But i couldn't sit there and just not do anything about it. My companion and i prayed that we would receive an answer to know what we should do. The next morning, i read a couple of verses in Luke:

18 And a certain ruler asked him, saying, Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
19 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God.
20 Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother.
21 And he said, All these have I kept from my youth up.
22 Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.
23 And when he heard this, he was very sorrowful: for he was very rich.
24 And when Jesus saw that he was very sorrowful, he said, How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God!

I took that 40 bucks and bought all the beans, and rice, and milk, and diapers that i could. My companion and i took the food to a member and told HER to take it by the families house that night. We stopped by the house the next day and the father gave me the most heartfelt hug i had ever received. I knew, that he knew what my companion and i had done and words could not explain how grateful he was.

I know that true happiness comes when we help those around us.

Love you guys. Take it Sleezy.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Dr. Rick Marshall

Hola Amigos! Vida en Esteli es buenisma y estoy teniendo un gran tiempo.

I miss all of you so much and hope that you are doing well!

My typical day ---- (answering some of his parent's questions)

wake up at 630. work out for about 30 - 45 minutes push ups, sits ups,etc
shower. eat cereal and bread as i personally study for an 1-2 hours. companionship study for an hour or 2. language study for an hour.  lunch at our mama citas house at 12. begin teaching investigators, less actives, and recent converts at 1. tract throughout the day return to the house at 930. eat dinner.
go to bed. repeat.

On Sundays we have to wake up at 5 in the morning. mission wide rule. we have to leave the house by 7 to go rally all of the troops for church. members, investigators, animals, anyone we can find.

we tract all day between lessons. and we teach a ton. every day all day. people here are either working or doing absolutely nothing. People will just let you in their house and teach them and also will often give us food and some sort of beverage. sometimes coke and sometimes some mystery drink.

language is getting a lot better. I can say and understand A LOT. the hardest part is understanding when two natives are talking super fast, which is always.

we are teaching this really really poor family right now that will probably be baptized the same day Bryce will. They have two little girls one Kate's age and two twin boys who are a couple of months old. very sad how poor they are.

DR RICK MARSHALL - The official letter:

It rained so hard that all of the streets flooded. I may have soaked my rash in the street/pool a little bit. (video below may only be viewable from a computer)

I also introduced my companion to french toast. He said that he liked it but i think he lied. We are currently trying to get rid of his baby (his fat stomach) and i made him get up and run with me this morning. I learned some new words that i don't think I'm supposed to know as i got him out of bed and pushed his fat butt through the door haha!

Purchased some Nicaraguan soccer jerseys and switchblades. Both of which were dirt cheap. Basically Collin's paradise.

One of my favorite Will Ferrel movies is Land of the Lost.  Dr. Rick Marshall, Will Ferrel, travels to another dimension, fights dinosaurs and goblins, and falls in love. One of my favorite quotes from the movie comes when Dr. Rick is attempting to aid someone who had sprained their ankle. He prefaces his diagnosis and treatment with "Though I am a doctor, I am not a licensed physician." Oddly enough, It came to my mind while is was reading in the bible this week.

In Luke, as well as in the other testaments, Christ often is compared to a physician.

30 But their scribes and Pharisees murmured against his disciples, saying, Why do ye eat and drink with publicans and sinners?
31 And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick.
32 I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

Christ came to earth to help people. As a missionary and representative of Christ, i have learned of the joy that comes as i serve other people. As one who aspires to study medicine when i return, this scripture really hit home. It has only further burned a desire into me that i want to help people throughout my life. As sons and daughters of a living God, it is our responsibility to help and serve others as Christ did.

Let us remember the profound words of Doctor Rick Marshal that we do not have to be licensed physicians to serve and love those around us. You don't have to be a doctor to save someones life. Look for opportunities to serve those that need some love. You will be happier and live better.

Love all you guys. Take it SLEEZY.

Sunday, August 10, 2014


Whats up my NICAS? (pronounced nee-kuz)  Hope you all are doing well.

Elder DJ got his first package in the mail this week. It was much needed. It had a letter from mom written to me while in college. It had 20 bucks in it. I laughed today as i used the money to buy some beans in a tube and thought about what i would have used the money for back in school. It was kind of a smack in the face like wow my life now is 100 percent different than my life 3 months ago.

The tubes of Playa Hermosa summer '13
Now on the the title of this little letter. One of the best feelings in surfing is getting in the tube or getting "shacked". This happens when the surfer is able to place him self in the wave where the water curls and passes over his head and when he is also able to control himself so that he can STAY in the barrel. The surfer must be able to control his speed and balance, needed to have selected the right board, and must have a knowledge of the wave and its shape. Its really an art form and very difficult to do and nearly impossible to master. There are lush tubes all over the world and i remember some of the tubes i was able to surf into in california and costa rica. What is important to remember tho is every single tube is different. Any good surfer will tell you that every beach is unique and every swell presents different challenges that one must realize and overcome in order to stay in the Tube.

Life is full of tubes. Tubes are the challenges we must face as we go through life. We are constantly in an act of balancing our lives and our problems and the things that are important to stay in the barrel. And often it feels that when we have finally mastered our "tubes" and our problems, God presents us with some new hard task or problem that we must face and do our best to overcome. God throws new tubes and beaches at us to see if we can step up and get shacked. It is hard. Life is hard. Great tubes dont come easy. It takes hard work, dedication, and a reliance in God. But when we finally overcome the wave and get in the tube, we feel great, become stronger, and are blessed by our God.

Right now my tube is nicaragua. I have to balance spanish, crazy nicaraguans, and my white boy bowels in order to get in the tube. We all different trials and problems that we need to overcome whether it be a job, calling, the death of a family member, sickness, bad bowel movements, the list goes on forever... However, what i have come to learn is that we dont have to face these waves on our own. God will always help us when we do our best and rely in him. Coach Dave Rose once said "Do what is right and God will bless you." Elder Dylan Jacobsen says "Work hard, do what is right, and God will put you in the Tube." Grandma Jakes book marks say it perfectly

"5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." (paths = nectar tubessss dudeee)

Work hard. Trust in God. And get in the Tube.  I love you all. Take it Sleezy and Stay Shacked.

Tree of Life mural painted by LDS missionaries