Saturday, November 29, 2014


 Whats up everybody? Love you guys. Hope you all found someone to love this week. 

Life in tipitapa is good. Showering is now easier because towling off is now no longer necessary. I really dont even bother drying off because as soon as the shirt and tie go on i am already drenched in sweat. Aunt kim was telling me how different andrews living conditions were and that he often had toilets with heated seats. Well guess what, our toilet seats are also heated just with the cheeks of 4 other missionaries. Tipitapa has been good to me and i have stayed healthy. Elder Clarkcito and the other white kids here though have not been so lucky and we are waiting for a miracle this easter to get rid of all these runs. All, however, are very grateful for the small CVS farmacy located in my suitcase. BIG thanks to DR. Jake from four little white white boys with N-V-D. (nausea-vomiting-dia.....)

Life as a ZL has also been good. I have been all over the map the last couple of days traveling to Managua and all of the diferent areas here in tipitapa doing interviews and getting to know the people in my zone. This past friday night i was in an area called Loma Verde and was helping a few elders get a family ready for their baptisms. One little kid in the family, who looked and acted a lot like Myron, decided that he did not want to join the family and listen to the white guys. He proceded to spin around in circles out in front of the house trying to make himself dizzy. After 5 minutes or so of continuous spinning, he stumbled back into the house and stood in front of us for a few seconds wide eyed and pale. 2 seconds later came a blended array of beans, tortilla, milk and candy barf all over mom and dad. Classic.  

On saturday we were able to baptize my little man Jorgito (little jorge). This little guy was tough to get into the pool and took a little convincing only because he is terrified of water and has never swam before in his life. Tried to arrange some practice swims but the only large body of water close is a giant lake filled with poop and alligators. Not prime conditions for a first timer. Hes got a great family who are all members but are a little out of the tube right now. His grandpa however shreds and baptized jorgito this last saturday. 

I was talking to this little family after jorgito´s baptism on saturday and they told me about the two missionaries that had baptized them ten years ago. They said that these elders had changed there lives in more ways than one and that they would NEVER forget them. If all i do during these two years is have one person say that about me then i will be content. I want to change one life in a way that will never be forgotten.  Kate´s speech for school really had an impact on my this week. She talked about the difference between walking a certian path and HOW we walk a certain path. Mom sent me a section from Abraham Lincoln's speech in Gettysburg a couple of weeks ago in which he said that people would not remember the words that were said but the things that were DONE. The where, when, why and what we say do not matter. What we do and how we do it are everything. The paths are similar but HOW we walk, the choices we make, and the examples we set cause us to walk an unforgettable path. 

Be someone unforgettable. Love you guys take it sleezy.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

One Love

Howdy Yall. Biggggg take it sleezy from Elder Clarkcito and I. I know i say this every week but i love all of you guys so freakin much. Having the time of my life down here. 

Tipitapa. Love this place. It is about 5 times hotter, poorer, and dirtier here but I really have already developed a love for it in the short week that i have been here. At night, the smog and the smoke from people burning their trash is so heavy that you struggle to see ten feet in front of you. 

 I love elder Clark. This little country boy from northern Utah, straight out of high school, is a little bit out of his element here in this crazy city in Nicaragua but we are having a great time and he is freakin sweet. I already love him so much and know we are gonna shred down here. 

The new crib is well.... Lets just say that i finally feel like I'm in Nicaragua. Filthy floor, plywood surrounding the shower and toilet, and all the cockroaches and spiders you can eat. A couple of nights ago Clark woke up with a giant bug right next to his face and i think i felt a little pee drip down from his bunk haha. He was a wee bit startled haha. One of the beds is completely broken and in the shape of a banana. One of the Assistants to the president came over the other night and ate some of my Halloween candy without permish. Guess what bed he got.... BANANA BED! 

Lunches have also been a little nutty lately. Yesterday we were served a bowl of soup with some sort of mystery meat in it. Let me paint a picture for ya. Imagine a giant, slimy, furry piece of chicken in the shape of foot. now imagine three of those in a nice bowl of orange liquid filled with assorted unions and leaves. I have already learned to just pork down anything that's put in front of you. The hairy foot meat actually was not that bad but i am little nica now. Elder Clark however, dry heaved throughout the whole meal. Mom and elder Clark would get along great. The nice little grandma that served us this soup told us afterward that the meat was cow tongue. I was pretty stoked to check that one off the list and was pretty proud that i managed to throw 3 of those puppies down. Elder Clark however, was not so happy with the news and nearly lost all of his lunch. I told him to be grateful because that is the only action he will get for the next two years!
Elder Fairborn and Elder Clark
Elder Anderson and Elder Jake

This week elder Clark asked me what is the biggest thing i have learned on the mission. It startled me a little bit because it really caused me to think about what I think have actually done and become over the last 6 months. However, the answer immediately came to my mind. Love. I have learned to love. Love God, Love companions, and really Love the people here in Nicaragua. I have seen that a love and respect for God has caused me to have a greater desire to help and truly love the people here in Nicaragua. It is a indescribable love that is unlike anything i have ever felt... something that has genuinely changed my life. Was reading in John this week. 

17 He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.

Really just love somebody this week. This time away from all of you has just made me realize how much more i love all of you. Take it sleezy. 

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Little Bit of My Own Medicine

Hello friends and fam bam. I love all of you guys and hope that you are all safe and healthy and are taking it sleezy. Just a little update from sweaty, dirty elder jake here in the jungle.

elder sherle and i are having a freakin great  time and are working hard. Right now we are teaching a family of 11 people. They remind me of the crazy sunday night family gatherings that the jacobsens have. a bunch of crazy naked kids running around with a guy who is a hybrid of uncle scott, uncle john, and brent. Scott because he constantly wants to give people massages, john because he laughs like an 8 year old girl, and brent because of the well placed farts during the lesson. They are an awesome family and they all came to church this week. Almost a quarter of the people at church this week were investigators. When i started here in rosario we were seeing about 20 people a week. Now we are up to about 40. Looking to get that big 60 before i leave.

In other news, i got a call last night at midnight from President Collado. He told me to pack my bags cuz he called me to train another new missionary and be a zone leader in tipi tapa, city just outside of managua. I met my new companion, elder clark, who is from ogden utah and has 10 days in the field. Basically just skipped over the whole district leader thing
and right on to bigger things haha. Throwing a little extra wax on the board and putting the life jacket on cuz teahupoo is firing and elder jake doesnt know how he is going to stay in this tube.

I have been telling people my whole mission that god gives us trials to make us better. its the uncomfortability of doing something hard that allows us to both become stronger and put our trust in god. Taking a little of my own medicine this week and dont exactly know how im gonna get this one done. I do know that god is always with us and that he will always give us strength and a way to do all things. "And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: Iwill go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shallprepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."

love you all. take it sleezy.

Dylan's new companion Elder Clark

Elder Jake is REALLY tired.  Tough night!

Neighborhood soccer field

Sunday, November 9, 2014


Hello everybody. Love all you guys.
This week was really just kind of a weird week. I have really busy with cooking duty, dead guy duty, animally doody, and district leader duties. Elder Sherle has been sick this whole week and thankfully it is just the fluand not projectile from the orifices like during my first couple of weeks here in the jungle. Halloween was pretty lame. We didn't even remember it was Halloween until about 8 at night when one of our leaders texted us a merry Halloween. I had a few starburst to celebrate. Kind of upset that i missed a trick or treat but i will have Bryce show me all of the good houses when i get back. 

We are also getting kicked out of our house. The crazy little grandma that runs our house is trying to snake a little money from the two white boys that are living in our house. She is asking us to pay a ton more money and i told her to go jump, literally, in Spanish. Also, the other day she accused elder sherle and i of robbing and eating fish from her fish tank. She later came into our room and yelled at us and told us to make our beds and pick up our dirty clothes. Wow i didn't remember bringing my mother in my freakin suitcase. I think elder sherle and i will leave an uncloggable dootie in the toilet before we leave. 

Still having a great time out here. Miss all you guys but i know that what I'm doing will bless the lives of so many people and i know that a new and improved dillbag will come home in 18 more months. 

Love you all so much. Take it sleezyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Vote for Pedro

Como estan? Todo tuani aqui en el rosario. Tuvimos una semana bien loca y tuvimos cambios el dia de hoy pero Sherle y yo estamos en la misma area todavia. Estabamos dentro de el tubo 3 veces en la ultima semana y bautizamos una familia y una otra persona. Fui llamado como lider de districto y espero que todo esta bien en sus casas y con sus familias. Les amo a ustedes muchísimo.

What is going on everybody? Hope all of you are doing well. Love every single one of you ugly americans. 

We had a very eventful last couple of days. Had changes today but elder sherle and i are gonna take it sleezy in rosario for at least two more changes and i am now district leader. Got my Nica ID card this week which is pretty sick if do say so myself. straight up NICA now. Also that means that i am officialy certified to be a missionary now. Last of all, our landlord is kicking us out of the house we live in because she says we are using too much electricity. I tried to explain to this little crazy nica lady that we are only in the house using the lights from 930 to 1030 every night and that maybe it was all of her parties that she has and that dumb disco light that she has in her fish tank that are cranking up the energy bills. Anyways, looking for somewhere to live that has a toilet, two beds, and a monkey that will wipe for us. 

Halloween is coming up and unfortunately no one celebrates it. You can bet your socks that elder sherle and i will be celebrating but apparently halloween is associated with worshiping the devil here. My bishop was pretty disgusted when i told him that we have a big party in the church every year for halloween. I told him that if all of us north americans go to hell for handing out candy to a bunch of kids dressed up as princeses and super heros then so be it because i have not missed trick or treating in 20 years. Jake T emailed me the other day and told me that he was gonna be rex cuan do. I got inspired and i think im gonna be uncle rico and im gonng make elder sherle be kip. 

Kip and Uncle Rico baptized our boy Pedro this week. Pedro is the freakin man and is such a great example to me of what being a man is. Dad left him when he was a little kid. Mom works outside of the city. His brother is an alcoholic. His sister is a prostitute. Other sister has a little baby boy also with no dad. This kid loves and does so much for this little broken family of his. I have only known him for three weeks but know that he will stay close to me for the rest of my life. His situation makes every hard thing i have ever done look like nothing. We already have him geared up with a white shirt, tons of ties, pants and church shoes. 

We also baptized two little girls this week, Paola and Keling, who remind me of kate and maddy. Both such humble and sweet little girls. They live in a cardboard and wood house with dirt floors and no father. 

Family is everything. In the short 6 months that i have been out on my mission away from my family, i have come to realize how much i really love and appreciate my family. 

Love you all. Take it sleazy.