Ditches and Chips

Que onda Locos? Had a freakin awesome time this week. Elder Sherle and I are throwing fire out here. 

We have been getting pretty dirty lately. All of the people here are connecting their houses to the "Black Water" so that they can have a real toilet that flushes and not just a hole in the ground. Yes please be grateful for your toilets because pooping into a hole is not as awesome as it sounds haha. We have been digging ditches and moving dirt all week. The people really appreciate that white boys are willing to get dirty with them. My hands, however, are not so happy right now. If you spread some tasty strawberry jam on a nice thick piece of bread you would get an idea of the status of my hands.

I have been watchless for the last few days. A 16 year old boy and I have become very close over the last few months and he has become my "Collin" out here in Nicaragua.  This teenage kid is such a great kid despite living in a dirt shack and not having shoes a lot of the time. The other day i caught him looking at my watch....

Speaking of time, I hope none of you are expecting me to be more punctual when i return home. There is a slang term here called "Nica Hora" which refers to the fact the the Nicaraguans are always 30 minutes late for everything. "Dylan time" will be returning in 18 months. Sorry not sorry.

Conference was sweet. Hope you all got to watch it. The other American elders and I were able to huddle around a little computer and watch it in English. The entire conference was sick but I was especially impressed with Jeffrey R. Holland's Saturday afternoon talk on serving. Over the years i have learned that i can appreciate getting chewed out. Thank you grandpa jake and high school football coaches. Someone getting in your face and telling you suck really gets the motivation nerves hummin. I think that's why i can appreciate Holland so much. He talked about serving the poor and how its our duty to do as Christ did and help others. He said that often we feel that what we are doing is insignificant and is just a drop in the ocean. He stated "Christianity is not a statistical Endeavour!" I can attest to that. There are so many hungry, shoeless kids out here. We cant help everyone but the people we can help will be so grateful for our sacrifice. For me, its digging ditches and buying chips for hungry little kids living in the street. I don't know what it is for you but I know that all of you can find someone to love. 

Love all of you. And as always....... TAKE IT SLEEZY.

No Barks Given

What is good in the hood? Takin it real sleezy down here this week with my new com anion. Another pretty normal week working freakin hard, getting soaked every day, and loving the nicas. Right now i am frustrated because i havent baptized anyone. we have a bunch of people that are close but i just want success so bad i would die for it. The ward is tuff because the members struggle going to church and half the battle im realizing is convincing people to go back to church.

Population of esteli: mexicans=10000000 white guys=2. Even if we suck as missionaries we have increased the white dude population by 50 percent this week so thats good. Having a great time down here with my companion. We are getting along great. Two Americans ballin out down here playin a little jungle ball. 

So Elder Sherle and I were walking along this week and there was a little dog laying in the street. 3 seconds later this little dog gets crushed by a motorcycle and I just kept walking along like nothing happened. Elder Sherle freaked out a little bit and wanted to help the little dog. Now i am not a bad person but after living in nicaragua for almost four months seeing a little dog  have the entire lower half of his body crushed is nothing out of the ordinary. If anyting its a good thing because there are way too many dogs running around down here. I explained to Elder Sherle that all doggies go to heaven and we got back to truckin. 

Gave a talk on service this week in church. When we serve others, we serve God. You can take that to the bank. Make the world a better place this week for me.

Love all of you guys. Take it sleezy this week. Also feel free to write big emails because i can take a picture of them and read them later.

SWIPER NO SWIPEY

Hello Everybody! Love all you guys and here is a little update from Elder Dyl.

Got my "kid" on tuesday Elder Sherle. (Im training elder sherle and am his "father") Elder Sherle is from Boise Idaho and plays ball! We get along great and I know he is gonna be a sick companion! I will not lie, it is a little difficult that he speaks basically no spanish but we are gonna have success. I know it!

We found a cool guy named osman this week and he came to church with us. As we were walking to church he lit up a fat cigar. We are gonna work on that this week.

Also the other night as we were walking home through the jungle, a teenager came up to us and told us that there was a group of about ten guys waiting to jump us and rob us. I went straight dora on those dudes and boots and I took a different river home.

God is always with us and has a plan for everyone of his children. I love all of you guys. Take it super sleezy this week!

DRAFT DAY

Como estan locos? Things are stilly pretty sleezy(this means “sweet/easy” in Dylan’s vernacular) down here in esteli and im still having a great time. Aside from being groped and nearly assulted by a pack of teenagers, it has been a pretty chill and uneventful week.

Got some news this week that will be pretty crazy. On saturday we got some news that my companion, Elder Sotay, would be leaving esteli and will be going to work in puerto cabezas on the other side of nicaragua. I recieved news that i would be staying in esteli and would be training a new guy. At first I was like cool im a little nervous but as long as its not a white guy ill be good.

Spanish is life now and so now whenever i have to talk in english it is just a pain in the butt. My spanish is pretty good but not anything close to where i want it to be. I remember thinking, president isnt crazy, he wouldnt put two brand new americans together, but then again we do only get 30 minutes to write home so who knows haha.



Our zone leaders sent us the picture and name of the dude i would be training and gosh dang it i got a white one. I have tried several times to trade with other missionaries in my area but no one wants the white guy. I am going to try to explain to president that im the phil jackson of esteli and need my kobe or my michael! I hope president is in a fantasy league because i am calling for a re draft. All jokes aside, i am excited for the opportunity to have my first kid ( in the mission trainers are fathers and trainees are their kids). Its gonna be tough that really neither of us know mexicaneese very well, but i know God is gonna help me and my companion.

 classic scripture to end.

And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

Love you guys so much. Take it super sleezyyyyyy this week.

BAD NEWS AND GOOD NEWS

Hello Ladies and Gents. Your weekly update from Mogly. Its great hearing from you guys everyweek. Keep the emails and dear elders comin porfa. This week the winner was bryce with that awesome touchdown. I honestly teared up a little bit- one because that stiff arm was so beautiful and two because i felt a little bad for all the little pipsqueaks out there trying to pull bryce's flag. Man among Boys!!!



I will start with the bad news.

New rule was implemented in the mission this week- we only get 30 minuntes on the computer. So ya haha. It stinks big time but i am having a good attitude about it grandma dont worry! I now get to take a big nap in the giant hammock in our house and have more cookie eating time. So its good.

Good news. We have a bunch of people we could possibly baptize this month. Pretty stoked for that. Nicas are funny people. Everyone wants to get baptized and knows its important. The problem is that no one ever wants to go to church. These nicas love sleepin in and love planning trips to disneyland on sundays (i dont actually know where they go but i figure most people like disneyland so that is my first guess).

I love all of you from the bottom of the rash on my butt that is now currently developing!
I dont know how sleezy my emails will be in the future because of this new rule buuuuuutttt, i will try to bring a little humor to the table every week.

Take it sleezy. Love you guys.

SHOULDA BROUGHT A WETSUIT

Hello people! Hope you all are doing well and having fun with the crazy school year life once again.


This week i got an authentic Nicaraguan baseball jersey. Los Boers baby! I even got a big 25 put on the back of it. Needless to say, my companion thinks it is a little weird that i sleep with it and wear it 24/7 around the apartment. He also doesn't understand why i wear two socks. I told him i think its weird that he pours syrup on his fruit loops and that he air dries (after showering) his ENTIRE body using the fan every morning. We are even for the time being.

Today I ate snake, which was pretty sleezy of me if i do say so. While we were waiting for the food we went and messed around with some monkeys, that are all over the restaurant, and poked a crocodile with a stick. I was served an entire boa constrictor along with some rabbit. The rabbit was like slimy chicken and and i honestly cannot tell you what boa tastes like. Tasty yes, or i think so. I was hungry. It was a little difficult to find the meat amongst the hundreds of tiny vertebrae and left over intestines haha. All in all a cool experience and you will have to come down to Nicaragua to find out what it really tastes like. As we were leaving, we were informed that next week they would have bull testicles. We will be making a return visit.

Also in other news, this week i was assaulted. One of our younger lady investigators gave me a kiss good bye on Saturday night. My companion and i are constructing some sort of apparatus to put over my head to prevent this from reoccurring in future visits.

This week it rained. Now when i say that I'm not talking about the wussy off and on sprinkle that we get in California. It rained. Very, very, very hard. The entire city was flooded and for the first time since i left home in may, i was actually cold. My batman blanky has come in handy ;).

Saying that i should have brought a wetsuit is very much an understatement. I waded through knee deep, muddy water for the majority of the last week. It was fun for the first five minutes as i thought "Im so bear gryls wading through this crazy river in the jungle with my back pack over my head." Then i realized that mud and water in the crotchal region all day is not as a amazing as i hoped it would be. Dreams crushed and rash developing.


My companion, more than i, needed a wetsuit this week. We were walking along in downtown one day and all of the sudden he vanished. He had fallen into a giant manhole that we were not able to see because the entire street was flooded up to our knees. He emerged a second later gasping for air and had to swim to get out of the whole. It was amazingly hilarious to watch this fat little Guatemalan kid, in his big yellow over coat, swim around and emerge from the giant brown puddle. We had a good time and always kept a good attitude even though we didn't have wetsuits (i failed to explain to Elder Sotay what a wetsuit is haha) and were muddy, wet, and exhausted.

Attitude is everything. That has been the theme of my mission so far and i am quickly learning how a good attitude allows us to truly do hard things. Found something cool in the bible this week.

3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts

I'm having some crazy experiences down here and I love all of them. Love the hard things and remember God is always with us.

Love you guys. Take it Sleeeeeeeeeezyyy.

Last Friday Night (katy perry voice)

Hola friends and family! Hope all enjoyed your summers and are excited to start school again. Elder Jake is especially stoked that he will not have to go back to school for a very long time! 

Nothing new in esteli. I ate some chinese food the other day and i think it was good. I havent had panda express or mr yous in 6 months so i dont really know. I also met this guy that works for the professional baseball league in nicaragua and he is going to hook me up with an authentic jersey from the best team in managua with a big 25 on the back. Stay tuned for that. No puke this week fortunately. I did have an oh crap moment however when the bishop of our ward asked me to give a 15 minute talk on "Honradez" a few hours before church started. I said sure president ill give the talk but thought to myself, What the heck is honradez?


I dont know what you guys did last friday but i bet mine was better. Elder sotay and i were walking along in downtown esteli on friday and i saw a little family with a dad carrying a cooking stove/ bbq thing on his back. I had the impression that i should help them so i went over and asked if i could carry the bbq to the house. At first he said no but i was persistant and eventually just took the bbq off his back and put it on mine. As soon as i threw this bbq on my shoulders i realized that i may have made a mistake. This thing was so freakin heavy! We walked and talked with this family and thought that they lived somewhere in downtown. We were very wrong. We walked with this family for almost an hour and i carried that bbq thing for at least 2 or three miles. My pups were barkin. We soon found ourselves, literally, in the middle of the jungle up in the mountian above esteli. By the time we arrived it was dark and there was only one little light in the little mud/tin hut that this family lived in. We sat outside the house on buckets and stumps and the dad made a little fire. My companion and i shared a little message with them and they accepted our invitation to go church on sunday. The mom even made us dinner! Corn on the Cob baby. As I sat under the stars in the middle of the jungle and ate my corn, i had a very strong desire to ask if the corn was "hand shucked" as it was especially delicious. But, i quickly remembered that this lady probly didnt know who bob was and that i had just seen her shuck it with her hands 5 seconds ago. We left the house a spent the next 20 minutes trying to find our way out of the jungle.

Now this story has no cool hidden spiritual message but i think that my friday night was a little different and a sleezier than yours :)


I love you all. Remember to stay in the tube.   Elder Jake

Bryce looked up honradez for all of you.  It means honesty.